Torture for another day...

Haiz... Today had another stupid secondary school fair and again, was so bored and felt like sleeping...

Yesterday, I cried when I was going home and when I was at home, I cried during bedtime. My mother was asking me why I cried and I was like, I can't even tell you because if you knew, you would most probably freak out. I guess I was so damn upset that each time I stopped crying, a few moments later the waterworks would start again.

What's wrong with me? It's all been made so damn clear so long ago, yet I still can't let it go. Chanel says it's normal, but although I know that, it doesn't change a single thing and I'm still depressed. Haiz... :(

I'm waiting for his transfer here, but I don't think that's gonna happen at all...

Getting pretty nervous because there's only a few weeks of school left and after that is the release of PSLE results. I'm not very sure if I want to graduate or not. For one, I think I would miss my friends, although now I'm not so sure if I don't qualify as a loser and loner, and I'm not sure if my friends are really mine. However, graduating means never having to see those people I hate or those people who make me cry ever again, which is majorly good news. Haiz... But I think I will miss Rivervale, most probably.

Anxious about the results too. I'm not sure if I want to go to a mixed school or a single gender school. I think there is a high chance I might go mad in a single gender school but six of my top ten choices are girls' schools. Stuck in the middle... Also, I don't think my parents want to afford such expensive school fees also.

I'm very very not looking forward to the excursions next week because I'm scared of the bus rides. Not because I'm a weirdo who is afraid of travelling on a bus, but because everyone one else is paired up, and I have no one to sit with on the bus, which could be very big trouble. Think I'm gonna, like, hide under the seats or something, so I won't get singled out.

Was pretty shocked when I heard something, because it's not really Mr Soh's freaking business and he has no right to interfere, for goodness sake, so I'm even more pissed off at him now, although it has also nothing to do with me also. Lol...

Went to Compass Point with my sis just now. Spent about an hour or more in the library and I was finding books to help me with my recent problems. I must say it was quite a fruitful trip... Also borrowed the twelfth book in the Series of Unfortunate Events which is one of two books I haven't read in the series, and the other one I have been reading halfway in the school library.

Giving myself another three weeks to mope around and be depressed and after that I'm gonna get back on my feet up because I won't have to see someone ever again!!! Quite excited but having mixed emotions because of some certain memories. I'm really going to miss some stuff, even though they made me cry.

So... I would like to say, if I have ever offended you in any way at all, sorry, and I hope we can be good friends and enjoy our last weeks together in primary school. I'm gonna miss you guys...

Remember me! (Even if I make you sad.)